Ford! you're turning into a penguin! STOP!

If I had anything important to say, I would update my blog more often, but, alas, there's nothing. My weekend was baby-filled. I hung out with crystal and brandon and my sister and mom and this other baby that my sister was babysitting. then my cousins came from nova scotia and i babysat them and they were cute. then yesterday i went to work. woah. totally interesting. I did finish the series of books on Josephine Bonaparte. I'm a little sad because I've been reading them for so long... I'm sad that it's over. I wish it would continue about her family or something. This is wierd: I read the last book in the series and then the first one about two years ago. The wierd thing is, I hardly remembered anything from them. I thought I remembered what happened but everything was different. It makes me want to reread all the books i have ever read because i'm like woah, did i just imagine what that was about? Also, two years ago, when I read those, I found them quite confusing and there was some things that I just didn't get... (Possibly because I read the last one first and then a few months later, read the first one)... But this time, they weren't confusing at all. I'm wondering if I was really dumb two years ago but now I'm not? Judging by my grammar in this paragraph, most would say that I still am dumb.



Another reason for not posting is because I don't have any new pictures. I may have posted these already, but if i did, i'm posting them again. i would take lots of pictures in the snow but there's no goddamn snow so i can't do that. now, it's just all like brow grass and clumps of dirty snow.... wow, that's pretty..... Also I, too, am getting a little bored with blogging these days, and I don't want to spend every waking minute in front of my computer. I got through my first day with no chocolate or tim hortons coffee and i'm still alive. today at work, i think they are giving away free tim hortons coffee.... i don't think i can pass that up. my biggest reason, though, for giving it up is that I spend too much money on it. so if it's free, then i'm ok with that. i hope they don't have free chocolate, cause i'll just have to eat it.

you and me go kissin in the park

i like rhymes

If you see my rooster

I am realizing more and more every day that i have a really short attention span. i have a small apartment... like really small... and i have small projects all over the place. i have a painting corner and my coffee table has two sewing patterns cut out on it, i have a pile of yarn and a bunch of blankets that i started making but never finished. i think my new month resolution should be to pick something and stick to it. today, i am going to try pretty hard to make a pair of pants. Probably close to two years ago, my aunt asked me to restore this old picture of my grandmother and her sister. I have been working on it every now and then. when i first got it, i almost finished it in the first week, and since then... once every like tow months, i'll take it out and play with it for twenty minutes or so... she's getting pretty mad at me. gotta finish that



i think maybe the internet is keeping me from doing everything i need to be doing. like right now, i should be making those pants, but i'm fucking updating my blog that no one even reads. and before i was blogging, i wasted all my time on msn or checking my email or somehow communicating with everyone that is no where near me. or just playing stupid fucking games. awesome. so now i'm fat and can't accomplish anything cause i'm obsessed with the internet. so here's another new month resolution... don't be so obsessed with the internet. and another one is to not be so fat. also my skin is really bad these days and i think it's cause i have been eating a copious amount of chocolate. I'm not going to eat chocolate for the next week if i can help it, and see if my skin gets better. maybe if i publicly state all of my resolutions, i'll stick to them. probably not.

Here is a good thing that I did. I have been thinking about going back to school because i'm jealous of a girl at work that studies all day for her really interesting classes in university. i'm really interested in history, so i went and bought a book called Through Indian Eyes because i have been wanting to learn about Indians. I figure if i read it, front to back and I am still interested, then it would kind of prove that i do have the attention span to learn new things, and then I will look into going back to school.

Is that purpous in your walk or are you happy to see me?

i decided yesterday that i should writ about Oprah. I fucking think she is a bitch. Here's why. There's that time that she made this big spectacle about the store that wouldn't let her in, because they were closed for some kind of private thing. How about, if you think you're all super cool and expect people to drop everything when you show up, then give em a little heads up.... maybe they woulda scheduled you in or something at a later or earlier time. Don't demand a public apology cause that makes you look like a stuck up bitch that thinks she better than than whoever was in the store at the time. Reason #2. So that guy was on her show about his book A million littke peices. someone found out that he lied about it, that not everything was true. Oprah, being the nice, kind person that she is, said she'd stick by him, blah blah blah, she liked the book, it doesn't matter if he embelished a bit, it's the story that matters blah blah blah. THEN, when she starts getting all these letters and emails about how he was wrong to do that, of course, she has him back on the show and completely bashes him in from of the whole world. seriously, oprah, who the fuck do you think you are??? you're not god. you don't get to decide what is right and what is wrong. so here is a big huge FUCK YOU OPRAH on behalf of that store and behalf of that guy that wrote the book. I AM NEVER WATCHING YOUR SHOW AGAIN.... not that i watched it ever anyways. Maybe I should send this to her..... then she'll invite me on her show to talk about why i hate her. that'd be cool, eh.



Crystal taught me an easy crochet pattern, and also a better way to hold the yarn cause i guess we were both doing it wrong and the otther way is much quicker. anyone who cares, raise their hand. I had a dream that I had a baby and like right after, him and i were like hangin out, playing on the huge hospital bed, and crystal and brandon came to visit and my baby and brandon were hanin out and playing and talking (saying lala and dada and that kind of stuff). Then I decided it was time to breast feed the baby, so the nurse came win with all these contraptions to hold the baby. but then mom and dad came to visit and i didn't want them there when i breast fed for the first time cause i wanted it to be a special moment for me and the baby. then all these nurses came in and all these italian people. they were setting up another bed for an italian woman that just had a baby and they were really loud and crying and yellling so dad started freaking at them and telling them to shut up, so i started freaking at him and was screaming at him to get out of my room if he was going to act like that, and mom was just like uh... dear, stop yelling, dear. and then i woke up.

Of course rhymes with horse

i'm pretty bored. i am so unbelievably disappointed in the wimpiness of the winter. the longest it can storm for is like 30 minutes.... then it needs to take a break to be all calm and not windy or snowy. what the fuck.



crystal and i went to the new sobeys. for all you summersiders, there is a new sobeys. it's right beside the old sobeys. come on summerside, i think we can use a couple more empty buildings. i know, why not build a bigger walmart right beside the walmart, and maybe a bigger theatre right beside the theatre. i know there was just a new superstore built pretty much accross the street from the old superstore, but now that there is a new sobeys, maybe to keep up with the competition, someone should build a newer bigger superstore to go right in beside the newer bigger superstore. seriously. there is an empty mall downtown that someone bought and wants to make it into this huge like chateau-style mall with condos on top. condos? come one. who in summerside is going to buy a condo? there's already all these new condos on top of the newly renovated journal pioneer building and then they tore down two huge, hustoric houses to build more condos, except there's a delay in the plans. probably cause they realized that NO ONE is going to buy them. the old superstore is a huge empty building, all of downtown is pretty much empty. here's an idea, don't tear down the old crappy empty buildings, just build new buildings in the middle of fields until the whole city is a big mess of empty buildings. FACE IT, no one shops or wants to buy condos in summerside


anyways, at the new sobeys, they gave us free brownies and mini bags of chips.

More Best Of

whatever there was supposed to be a bunch of snow on the ground when I woke up... no more than last night. maybe god decided to save the storm for today.

way to suck, storm

i have been hoping it would storm a big heavy snow fall storm, but, alas, it didn't. earlier, it looked like it had potential, but soon after, it fizzled out. it's fucking melting already. i used to hate winter, but now that this winter is lame and muddy, i really really want super winter storms.



once when i lived in montreal, i was really homesick. i thought that if it snowed, it would make me feel less homesick or something. it was maybe october or november.... early for snow, anyway. so i sat in the window all night, playing notes on tmac's tin whistle, waiting for it to snow... I think I may have even made up a song i think pretending that it was a snow song... kind of like a rain dance? Anyways, after like two hours of sitting there, it finally snowed and i was sooooo happy that i probably cried or something. It's awesome that sometimes i'm a fuckin nut. oh, which reminds me.... once, crystal and I were at a party at marianne's... I was probably in grade 11 or so. she was maybe on acid or something and I was drunk as a skunk. we really wanted it to rain, so we made someone... pretty sure it was clayton, bring a guitar outside and play it while we like ran and danced around him in circles totally thinking that it would rain if we did it long enough.... oh god, what crazy fools we were. i don't remember at all if it rained or not.



Another time when I was drunk...... James used to have parties at his sisters apartment... she was the only one that would regularly let underaged kids drink at her house. normally, a bunch of people would end up hanging out in the bathroom, mostly sitting in the bath tub. one night, i was in there with this girl and guy... just hanging out, and we noticed that someones beer was sitting on the floor.... a while later, another guy, who happened to be an ex-boyfriend of both mine and the other girl in the bathroom, came in a took a beer. he left. the other girl and i decided to put the beers in the toilet and pee on them. we took them out and put them back in the bag without drying them off. he drank them. in our defense, he was a total jerk. he deserved it.



I'd just like to make it clear that i never peed on anything of anyone elses.

unlike some people i know. hahahahahahah get it?

Snowpy storm

Falcon Beach is the worst show in the WHOLE world. it makes me want to die
or at leas turn off the tv. i'm going for a walk in the snow.

the way you fur, the how you purr

when i was mad the other night and crying about my supid car, mom interrupted me to tell me these two girly girls were coming to visit me and I get to babysit them while their father (my mama's twin) and my mama get to go out for their birthday dinner. I haven't seen them since maybe last summer so I am happy they are coming.



Sewing class was good last night. The teacher makes me laugh. She told us a story about when her son was 5, he found playboy magazines and he sold them to the 9-12 year old neighborhood boys for $0.75/ each and $0.25 for a centerfold. Her daughter, who was younger than the boy, overheard her talking about the situation, and then told the girls grandparents that the brother was in deep shit f or selling bum books.



My friend melissa read in a book that (and correct me if i have it wrong) little evil witches or evil fairies use people's egg shells to travel around and do evil, so she makes sure that all egg shells get crushed. i sometimes did it and sometimes didn't.... i didn't really care. then we got in a HUGE fight and I absolutly REFUSED to break my egg shells.... not that she knew cause she didn't live with me anymore anyway, but still.... now, since we got back to being friends, I crush every egg shell that of every egg I use, and also if I see egg shells in the garbage i crush them.... not that she'd know anyway, cause she doesn't live with me now either, but whatever.

I think my inner demon is getting fat

Today has been a roller coaster of emotions. The day started out super good and I was happy and all was grand, but then I got REALLY angry... I'll tell you why later. But amidst the anger, I was telling really funny jokes. Ok i'll tell you know why I am angry.



I bought a brand new car in september. I didn't really NEED a NEW car but I wanted one, and I thought that it was the responsible, grown up thing to do. I asked for help in picking out the car, in test driving a few cars... in every aspect (or so I thought) of buying a new car, I asked for help. My father is an ex-car salesmen, so I assumed he had all the answers. way to make and ass out of me and no one else. I bought a car and I love it and it's soooo nice to have a reliable car that I know will probably not break, and even if it does break, it's under warrenty, so all is good, all is great.... Or is it? The finance guy tricked me into getting loan insurance. He made me think that it was mandatory, then when I called to cancel it, he got all defensive, and without even listening to me, he kind of started yelling at me, saying that he KNOWS he said it was my choice to get it and blah blah blah. oh god this is a boring entry. Anyways fuck him he was an ass hole. Then they fucked up on the taxes, so i went to register it, they told me that I owed $1890 in taxes to the PEI government, so I started yelling and crying at AccessPEI. So fuck the finance guy again for that one. I really hate it when girls are whiney and talk about how they get taken advantage of by business men, because I normally think that it is the girls fault for being dumb and not asking questions. I thought I asked all the right questions and I was careful about making my decisions, but it turns out I am just a stupid fuckin whiney girl. So today, I go to get my 6000KM check and I THOUGHT that as it is under warrenty for 5 years, all that shit was paid for when I paid like $19000 for the car. Guess again stupid girl, it cost me $63, which some may say is not a big deal, but it is when you already budgeted all your money for the month and now you have to go ask your boyfriend to send you more money to pay the rent.



I am disappointed in myself for not understanding all of these things, and I am fucking angry that they didn't explain everything to me clearly. I am mad that when I asked "how does the warrenty work?" they didn't say "you have to pay for all this stuff every couple of months, or else your warrenty is void." I'm upset that dad told me that I should get the tires rotated and that it costs about $5, but it actually costs about $5 per tire which equals $20, not $5. And I hate the finance guy and today, I especially hate the guy that works at the shop where I took the stupid car because he was unnecessarily rude to me twice and he thought he'd make a funny joke to the other guy working there by saying "Let be generous and make her pay! hahahahaha" Yeah, that's so fuckin hilarious I think I'll piss my pants laughing. But I am also actually laughing out loud at all of the funny things I said today like "I think my inner demon is getting fat" and when someone made a comment about how they lost their virginity, I answered by saying "don't worry, it will grow over in a few years"



When I get angry, I cannot confront someone about it without crying. That makes me feel like more of a dumb girl. I hate it, because I know that in a lot of ways, I am way tougher than a lot of guys I know, but when it comes to being angry... I just bawl my eyes out as soon as I open my mouth to speak. That makes me more angry, and so I cry harder. Awesome.



Now I feel extra guilty for drinking the other night and calling in sick the next day cause I was too hung over. If I had known I would have had to pay so much for something that I thought was free, I wouldn't have drank so much and I would have gone to work.



Way to go canada for electing the creepiest candidate. I don't know what's better.... vote for the least crappy guy, or not vote at all cause you don't like anyone.... I voted for the least crappy guy, but it was a hard choice. I don't like conservatives and I am not happy with liberals, so vote ndp and hope one at least gets elected in my riding, although there's really no chance in hell for that? hmm....decisions decisions.

We The Living

....is a good book that made me cry.

This is something I wrote in my diary last night:

Sometimes, when it is really quiet or when I feel alone, or when I am in a huge crowded plaace,or in a tiny lonely place, I think about how my body is in that place, I think about the area that I am occupying and how inside me skin is me and only me and outside of m skin is everything else in the whole world, and how compared to the whole world, I am so incredibly small, but I am a body that moves and does things like pees and parys rent and writes in a diary, laying on a bed, and I alone am me, and no one on earth knows everything about me and what I think about or what I secretly feel about things. The space I occupy is something I think of a lot.

Six degrees of bullet holes in my counter

I live in apt 8. my friend andy lived here a coulpe of years ago. andy told me the other day that he was talking to a guy named darren that also lived in apartment 8. Darren told andy about how there is a hole in the counter that is filled in (quite crappliy, i might add). the hole was from a bullet that was meant for a guy that one of my friends had a sexual relation with. When my boyfriend moved into this apartment, the landlord told him that as soon as he got settled, he'd have someone come and fix the drawer. six or seven months later, the drawer is still in the closet.. broken. The girl that lived here right before I did came over one day and said, "oh, the drawer still isn't fixed?" He told her the same thing when she moved in. I asked andy about it once. He said that the landlord also told him the same thing when andy moved in. Also, there are three or four drawers in the stair well. in the summer, there were bugs coming out of the plug socket thing. they were brown and furry. they were also on the ceiling in the hallway.




I got told that I could get a job as a model the other day. pfft Check out my photo shoot.

I have dumb titles cause people keep stealing the funny things i say

I got angry today for these reasons:
1. I wanted to find a qulting pattern for Holly Hobby and I couldn't find it on the internet so I was mad, cause I figured that it's such a popular design that it should be there and not hard to find. Boy, was I wrong. Then I thought I hit the jackpot, but the jackpot was not as awesome as I thought.
2. I went to the library to find books on quilting and some on history. I found the Holly Hobby pattern that I was looking for and I found some books on Napoleon and Josephine but I didn't get them because I know that they would just sit on my coffee table for two weeks or more. So I get to the check out and she swipes me library card and says, "You owe $10.05 in late fees." I said "What?? TEN DOLLARS??" and she's like "ya, and five cents." Eff you. It's not as if they could have been making a profit on those CROCHET books that I had out for a month. It's not as if anyone has taken them out in the last EIGHT years.



3. I have heartburn like a motherfucker
4. I'm bored.
5. I want to sew my pants but I'm supposed to wait until sewing class on tuesday.



I will settle for sewing patches on my pants that are going to rip soon.

Bile Is Vile

I watched the Talented Mr. Ripley last night. That movie was kind of fucked and sometimes when I watch fucked up movies late at night it freaks me out and I get all scared that something wierd is going to happen, like Mr. Ripley will break into my house and hit me on the head with a statue, and then he'll get away with it cause he's so good at lying.



I had a pretty wierd dream. I dreamt that I went for this drive to Tumbler Ridge and I was staying in some wierd house that girls all showed up together but then were paired off with guys, but the guys were really abusive, so me and the girl I went with were planning an escape and we had to time it all perfectly. Then we met this one guy that was not abusive and was actaully really nice and wanted to get out of there too cause he didn't want to be forced to be abusive with the other guys. so we took him with us. one the drive back to wherever we were going, all these roads were closed so we had to back up and find new roads. we got to this store to ask for directions and it was this wierd like haunted mansion or something... it kind of reminded me of the store in House of 1000 Corpses.... Anyways, we had to play these wierd games before he'd let us leave peacefully, and if we lost the game, then the only way to leave would be to run like hell cause he wasn't going to let us leave easily. So I lost the game, and we ran like hell....



It's pretty awesome that I have 203 views to my blog. What's not awesome is that they are probably mostly all me, checking to see how many people checked out my blog.

I am Expanding my horizons, and as I do that, I will also be expanding my waistline

So, last night, I thought of all these one liners and I heard all these people say funny things and I was like Oh, I will totally remember all of that tomorrow and write it in my blog. Guess again, drunko. I kind of remember one of them but it's really not funny at all. Someone made homemade wine and someone else yelled "Straight from the Vineyards of Lot 16!!" Ugh, maybe he actually said something else that was funnier than that. Or maybe i was super drunk and laughed my ass off at something that wasn't funny at all. That's probably what happened.

I called in sick for work. I think I kind of drank so much so that I would be sick so I wouldn't have to work. How awesome is that. Someone drank like two of my beers so I drank like 5 glasses of wine to compensate. I had a lots of fun though. I am just rambling about nothing until my pictures finish uploading. uploading pictures to your computer from your camera is kind of like letting your camera take a dump. HAHAHAHAHAHA Fuck i'm such a loser cause i think that is incredibly funny. This is a poem I wrote with magnetic poetry. It's a good think I took a picture of cause I would not have been able to remember these beautiful words:
The lights will steal my breath
the moon leaves my mother chilly
what childless father dreams

That's it folks.

Hey Luther.

Bed Time

P.S. This is an email I sent to myself last night so I would remember one of the funny things I said while drunk:

fuck. ok i need to be less drunk cause i have to close one eye to see

.drunk as a skunk as a punk

I really have to concentrate as i type.
I am drunk so firgive my typing.
hammered.
i have to work in the am. maybe i'll call in sick if i'm hung over. but i ate vitamin c and water. i all of a sudden like a county band called the Corb Lund Band.

muddy muddy rainy runny

here's some dumb pictures.


i haven't been posting because 1. my internet is a loser and 2. because i am a loser and have nothing to say and no good pictures to post... obviously. i got paid last night so now i can afford to go buy a coffee and i am more than delighted to do that. I am addicted to tim hortons coffee. i think about it a lot every day and i feel kind of sad if i can't have one. awesome.
This is from sometime last year when i had bangs.

and this is some wierd thing that i did.

ugh. yeah. i'm boring and i want coffee

We're going on a picture journey

i can't sleep. i finished my book and maybe i'll start another one, even though it's 2:15 AM... I keep thinking about my dream about the cats and I also keep sort of half falling asleep but then i start thinking about the wierd fucked up people in summerside that do wierd fucked up things and it scares me back to being awake. i'm scared that i'll dream about that shit.
melissa is coming home in february and we're going to go on a picture journey.
it's the middle of january and it rained all day and it's mild and the snow is almost gone. it kind of freaks me out and i wish it would storm. normally we would have had like 3 or 4 storms by now and i think there's only been one, maybe. i think the climates are all switching around and now japan is going to get all of our snow and we're going to turn tropical eventually. i wonder about maybe it's just normal proceedure for the weather to go all wierd every couple of thousand years. because there was an ice age and a stone age and lots of other ages, so we're probably going to have a fire age and a water age. and maybe it's not such a bad thing that all the iceburgs are melting.... maybe that's just the way it's supposed to go. human might become extinct liked dinosaurs did but then there will be a whole new species someday to discover our bones and out cities and all that stuff. sometimes thinking about things like that scare me, but sometimes i'm not scared. it's wierd that we evolved from being in tribes and having ritualistic (is that a word??) songs and dances and now there are dance clubs and record labels. maybe it would be a good idea to drown all the crappy modern humans with melted iceburgs and start over. or maybe not.

Top Ten Alternative Punishments

1. banishment
2. tar and feather
3. caged in front of city hall
4. lick electrical fence
5. take j. o's mom to a classy restaurant
6. wear an anne of green gables suit in japan for a month
7. work at resolve for a year with no pay
8live with someone who smells really bad
9. get a bad nose job
10. $10 fine for pooping
11. walkin on walkin on broken glass

top ten cults
1. team cult
2.insert name here cult
3. build your own
4. sext cult
5. give me all your money cult

these make me laugh at any time of day, no matter how crappy i am feeling. i thought i had more lists but i can't find them so if anyone else knows where they are, they should email to me so i can laugh some more. i wrote a bunch of stuff earlier about how i am feeling crappy today but it all got erased and i don't really feel like writing it again. but i'll write some of it. i feel crappy cause i think i'm an artist but i'm just not that good of an artist and all i want to do is make things but i don't have the money to buy things to make other things with and i don't like most of the things i make. today i thought i was going to accomplish a lot of things but instead, i didn't nothing, really. i went for a walk and took some pictures at the crappy muddy linkletter beach. i thought i didn't like them, but now i kind of do, so i'm feeling a bit better.

I drempt last night that I had three cats. one was all black, one was all black except his paws were white and one that was black and dark grey striped. They were all the same shape so if it was dark it was hard to tell them apart. The dream was about them all wanting to go outside, so i let them out. then i heard them meowing really loud and i looked outside and they were fighting with a bunch of other cats that looked just like them. so i opened the door and three cats came running in, but it was dark so i didn't realize that some of them were not mine and some of mine were still outside. so the cats all continued to fight, inside and outside and there was cat blood splatered all over the house. i wanted to get the other cats out of my house and get all of mine inside but i couldn't because if i picked up other cats that werent mine, they would attack me and scratch out my eyes so i was just helpless.

under the sink

i sometimes love tori amos and then i listen to her non-stop for like months and then i get sick of her and don't want to listen to her for a year.
also, i sometimes love taking my picture while wearing a trucker hat for like ten minutes at a time.

friday night and i aint got nobody

i disrespect people that use the word 'aint' on a regular basis unless it's used in a song. i would like to take a grammar class because I hate hearing people use words incorrectly and I am always correcting other people's grammar, but I probably make a lot of grammar mistakes as well. Take that last sentence, for example. I'm sure there are a few in there somewhere. I would also like to take tons of history classes. I was thinking about that today. I wish I didn't have student loans to pay back, because if I didn't, I would take out a loan and go back to school to learn some history. Just a class or two, here and there. Here are some more random pictures that I took a while ago....




This is Hawksley Workman. I was very excited to go see him, but was rather disappointed as there were a million screaming university girls standing at the front of the stage. I couldn't see and I could barely hear. The Wave is not a good venue. Hawksley looked much different than I expected.

After the show, he came back to summerside with us and the next day, we went for a walk down south drive. here he is checkin out my friend.