I am tired and all messed up from working nights. i am not enjoying the two job business because i work messed up shifts at both places so i am either working or sleeping and i can't even enjoy a day off because i don't sleep at night, so i sleep all day and it's sunny out. for once. fuck. and i start a summer course tonight. awesome. and i just found out that a giant part of the mark is based on group work. did i complain about group work yet? fuck. it makes me so angry. because i go to class and try hard and some other people don't and their mark goes up because of group work and mine goes down. i might drop this class because of it. seriously. like in the last group-work class I had, if we didnt count the group work and made the exams worth more, my mark would have been 10 percentage points higher. that is a huge deal. fuck i am mad. i don't know what to do. summer courses are only six weeks and you cover way less than courses during the year. so i'll save a ton of time and energy if i take it now. i can't take a summer course next year because i have a clinical rotation in the summer. and if i take less than required courses next year, i won't be on the dean's list and i am obsessed with being on the dean's list. fuck. i want to drop the course. but that means i have to work extra hard next year. fuck. i'll go to class tonight then decide, i guess. man i am cranky.

update:
no one at school knows anything. it says online that in order to make the dean's list, you have to have a minimum of 30 semester hours (which i don't fucking understand, by the way)... I think semester hours=credits. anyway. there is an exception that 4th year nursing students don't have to have 30 credits to make the deans list, as long as they were on the dean's list before. Soooo does that mean if i was on the dean's list in first, second and third year, and i don't take an elective in 4th year like i am supposed to (but take it, say, starting today), then do i still make the dean's list if my marks are good enough? Hmm, lets ask an academic advisor.

Me: so, if i take an elective now and NOT in 4th year, can I still make the dean's list if my marks are good enough?
Academic advisor: there is no dean's list in 4th year. you just graduate with high standing if you're eligible.
me: except on the website, it says this: "The only exception to the semester-hour requirement is for Fourth Year students who require fewer than 30 semester hours of work to graduate, provided that they obtain a minimum of 24 semester hours of credit during the september-may year, and that they have had previous standing on the dean's list."
Academic advisor: Umm, I'm not sure.
Me: Ok, so I'm trying to decide if I should take an english course now or not. Do you know anything about the course load in 3rd and 4th year. Is it super hard? What do you suggest I do?
Academic advisor: All I know is that nursing is pretty hard no matter what you do.
Me: The problem I have is that a huge portion of the mark is made up of group work, and I don't agree with that. I don't think other people's work should be reflected on my mark. Do you know if all english classes are like that or just the one taught by this particular professor?
Academic advisor: I'm not sure.
Me: Wow, you're doing a pretty good job at advising me.
Academic advisor: Well, you know... we do what we can. I'm glad I could help.
Me: Actually, you didn't help. I was being sarcastic.
Academic advisor: Umm I'm not sure.
Me: You're not sure of what?
Academic advisor: Umm, I'm not sure.
Me: FUCK!!!