my love is building a building around you

I went to get my tea leaves ready today. i almost kind of freaked out and fainted except i didn't. my hands g ot all tingley and hot and my neck got tingley and then my lips and i was like fuck i'm going to panic stop panicking you loser you're getting your TEA LEAVES read!!! so i calmed down a bit. sometimes i think that stuff like that is nonsense but also she said a lot of things that were pretty acurate that i was like woah, IT'S TRUE!! also i went with my friend jilian and she was way more acurate with her and it was fucking wierd and scary and i'm a fucking tea leaf believer
it would be funny if the song day dream believer was actually tea leaf believer. actually, i just looked up the lyrics and it wouldn't make any sense so whatever..
she said that i had a lot of tears in my cup and i was like HEY!! I cry all the time!!! but she was saying like in the positive side of my cup i had two tears that kind of surround everything and so i kind of think she might mean happy tears? i'm not sure. cause i do cry all the time but not always sad tears cause wierd things make me cry happy tears but ugh i don't even know how to explain what i feel sometimes. for example, last weekend, my whole family was together and i was really excited cause it's been a while since we were all together and i just was on the virge of bawling the whole time and my brother plays the bagpipes and most people hate that instrument, but bagpipes make me fucking bawl because it's like a symbol of my family or something because most of the boys and men in my moms family played the bagpipes and most of the girls highland danced and so we're all like scottish and whatever and when my brother plays the bagpipes i have to go hide my face in the bathroom cause i can't not cry. and also he brought his new girlfriend home for the weekend and she's really nice and smart and i'm so proud of my family cause they are all so smart and awesome and i think i also cry when i am around them because i think i am the f ailure of the family and that makes me sad, even though i am incredibly happy that i have such smart and awesome siblings. god i'm fucking crying. also, my aunt was home and she asked me how i liked seeing willie nelson and i told her that i cried at that cause he is such a legend and it was this like historical moment for me or something and of course, i started crying when i was talking to her about it, right in front of my brothers and jonny's super smart fucking awesome girlfriend that i just met 5 minutes before.
she also warned me not to have babies right now cause it's NOT the right time. I'm with her on that one. she was kind of trying to figure out my living arrangement and she's like well, you don't live in an apartment really... or a house... and she was kind of like umm... a double house??? and i live in a duplex so that was cool. and she said that i don't want to live there and neither does troy and we won't live here long and the reason we live here is because we are too scared to 'take the plunge' and buy a house even though my feeling towards it is just fucking do it and if it doesn't work out, then so what.. start over... which is totally acurate cause my feeling about bills is that i'm always going to have them no matter what so whatever, if i buy a house and i can't afford the bills, i can just sell it and whatever not worry cause everything will be fine and she was like you're right... everything WILL be fine. and she said i am simple and i like simple things and i don't want any kind of super compllicated life and i just want to live calmly and quietly. she kept saying that i am planning a wedding, which i'm not but she's like no, i'm sure of it. you are. ??? ok... if you say so. and she said that there are a lot of people in my life that are really just useless to me and i don't want them around me and i don't want to talk to them but they're always there, and that they are a nuissance in my life. true. she said a lot of other things that i don't really feel like talking about but were acurate i guess. she said that the letters c, r and w were probably important in my life- like people who's names start with those letters.